Essay+Revisions

Sample Essay "Effects of Living in a Foreign Country" Sample essay prompt: Living abroad causes people to discover more about who they really are. What are some of the most important lessons people can learn as a result of living in a foreign country? In what ways can this time affect peoples' future outlook on life? Be sure to support your ideas with specific explanations and relevant details.
 * __Type your revisions of the sample essay from class on November 13.__**

Mina's Group: Introduction revisions In the generation of globalization, people are living in the foreign countries for different reasons. For example, some people come the United States for the better education. They obtain degrees and learn English from the colleges; Furthermore, they can always learn more things beside academics. Since people live outside of their own country, they can learn many lessons and change their outlook as a result of living in a foreign country; as far as I am concerned, they can learn others' cultures, practice to be patient, and be independent.

Ting's Group: o.s.="original sentence" n.s. = "new sentence" (o.s.) When international students come to United States, they always have to spend time to learn others' culture. (n.s.) When international students come to the United States, they always have to spend time learning other cultures. (o.s.) For example, students from Asia are more shy than American students, therefore; they will have a difficult time to social with American students at the beginning. (n.s.) For example, students from Asia are more shy than American students; therefore, they will have a difficult time to social with American students at the beginning. (o.s.) However, as the time goes by, international students will learn how to be outgoing like American students. (o.s.) This is not only going to affect their college life, but also can help them to do better in their career. (n.s.) This not only affect their college lives, but also help them to do better in their career. (o.s.) Being outgoing can help them to communicate with customers easier, and convince them to buy the products quicker. (n.s.) The outgoing activities help them to communicate with customers easier and convince them to buy the products quicker. (o.s.) This shows that learning culture can really change peoples’ future outlook by changing their behavior. (n.s.) This shows that learning culture can really change people's future outlook by changing their behavior. (o.s.) In addition, learning others’ cultures can also help people to become patient. (n.s.) - Should to cut this sentence. Not include in this paragraph.

Mustafa's Group:

Living in other countries can really help people to practice being patient. For students, waiting for a bus will be a good example. Most of students who live on a large campus use buses as their primary way to move between their residence hall and their classes because they are cheaper than taking a cab or having a car, and they take less time to move around the university than biking or walking. People who lived in countries where using public transportation, such as buses, are very common, will find that they have to wait more time than they do in their countries. For example, students from those countries will find the waiting time in the U.S. as upsetting and unreasonable. However, as the time goes by, they will learn to get used to it and they will learn that being patient in other countries will help them become more understandable toward the differences between their countries and the other countries. As a result, learning to be patient will help people in the future life. For example, being a parent will need a lot of patience, therefore learning to be patient will help in the future life.

Dasol's Group: As international students live in dorms and aparment by themselves, they learn to being independant; and it is very important for their future. for example, studnets have to do laundry, clean their rooms up and wake up themselves. In addition, students need to manage their time. They need to know when whould they study and when should play. It is helpful when they become adults oneday. They can grow their independence up by doing these.